Latin teacher breaks 5 year praise drought!

BREAKING NEWS!

Today, for the 1st time in 5 years, 2 Latin students actually received a test back saying "Perfect" written by the Latin teacher. The students are reported as being in a critical state of utter shock.
Claims of fraud are being investigated, one student (of the only two) made this statement,
'This has got to be fake'

(yes, I know it's backwards)

Dan Aykroyd puts on new face!

Breaking news - famous actor Dan Aykroyd has a sex change!


He maintains his reason is this:

"I think I look less retarded as a woman."

Reckless youth do not heed warning

After winning the debate against Riverview on Friday night, these two Santa girls were snapped posing in ridiculous positions after being warned not to do so several YEARS before!

The girls in question were warned years before not to continue the harmful sport of debating, as it has terrible side effects, such as: Looking like a complete dumbass.

Tut, flaming youth.



2004









2008

Iemma to drop water restrictions: "Good boy, Sydney!"

As a reward for saving water, our esteemed Premier has promised to lower
Water restrictions, due to the apparent increase of grass around Sydney suburbs.
Restrictions are to be dropped from level 21 to 17 next month.

Suggested new precautions for deadly tree

On her way to the 3rd Annual Bad Signage Convention, Alison (a sign maker herself) was forced, due to pedestrian traffic, to take the track that passes beneath Sydney’s infamous Bunya pine tree.

‘It’s a tough job,’ she later stated, having carefully passed below the tree and miraculously lived, ‘but I love what I do, so y’know, you take risks don’t you?'

Discussion is taking place about the true safety of the tree, and how precautions can be raised to current Occupational Health and Safety standards, which are at an all time ‘Safety’ peak.

Alison has been short-listed for Young Australian of the Year 2009, for excellence and bravery.